I Have Things To Say...

Really, I do. I think of things to post all the time. I constantly write blog posts in my head. The problem is that I self-edit everything. I just edited that sentence. Right there in my pre-post-read-through. It's why I'm still writing my novel and am only just now getting a good dent in it. I can't write something down without wondering, "Does this really need to be put down for all posterity?" and most of the time, I talk myself out of it. "No one really cares about that, Bianca", I convince myself. But in honor of marking a YEAR with no posts (a personal best), I think I need to be a little more "out there". I have things to say. Really, I do.

It's been a whirlwind year. And it's not even beginning to settle! But that's why it's now or never, and it's been never lately. I want to fix that. Life is never going to slow down for my preferences. Just when we think, "Hey, I may be getting to a good place with _____" (fill in the blank; it doesn't much matter what the subject is!), the other shoe drops, as they say. So I'm choosing now. I hope I continue to choose now over never.

Husband made a huge career change and is NAILING IT. I love him so much, it hurts. What an amazing man, to dare to have a different life, and then do it! Getting to walk by his side through life is the best adventure I can think of.

I also made a change in career and am OVERWHELMINGLY glad I did. So, so many good things have come from that switch. I was the proverbial toad in cold water who almost got boiled because the temperature change was so gradual. Thank the Lord that He saw the whole picture and spooned me out of the pot! I picked up a home business in addition to my love-of-music career and am renewing on for another year, thanks to God's blessing and an amazing anonymous donor. When the Lord says he'll provide for you, he means it. He REALLY means it. There have been so many testaments to that over this last year.

Now let's be real about what not self-editing (as much) really means. There may be Posts. Posts you may not like. Posts that might make you think less of me. Posts you may cry over. Posts that use bad words.

In other words, Posts that are REAL. Posts that are ME. Posts that are US.

I'm tired of only writing when I'm happy and things are going well. If you're in my life, you know things get pretty shitty (if I'm using honest words) from time to time. That's life. It happens to us all. One of the things I hate about Facebook and Twitter and other social media are the extremes. Some people display themselves at their most put-together. Flowers and rainbows and ice cream sundaes. All the time. Others constantly bash, vent, and complain. Shit storms every day. All the time.

Both are annoying.

Neither is real.

I hope (HOPE!) to have a balance. I have a wonderful life and I thank GOD for it every day. Through all the things, He is there and constant and whole and dependable and wonderful. He gave me Husband for the hand-holding. Family for pulling out hair and laughing til I cry. Friends to challenge my thoughts. Every good and perfect gift comes from Him (James 1:17). He fills my life with good things (Psalm 103:5).

Love you all,

Bianca